Meant to Write

Tonight’s post is going to be a bit personal. I have duty tomorrow, so I won’t be able to post and I feel like I owe you all a bit of myself after going on a bit of a vacation last month. While it was completely necessary, and in some ways, I still haven’t recovered from that heartbreak, I think this look into my life is well deserved.

I wasn’t like other children, growing up. I learned this mostly when I was in middle school. It’s tough, being a preteen and not knowing where exactly you fit in. See, I didn’t like just hip hop music, like my peers. I didn’t just like pop. I liked classical music, rock, alternative…I liked it all. And so I felt a bit out of place. Those were my most…difficult years. But I knew, something told me, I wasn’t meant to be like everyone else. I was reading thick paperbacks while others were worrying about their first kiss. You could find me walking up the steps or walking around school with my face in a book, never missing a beat. In short, I had all of these different things that I loved about life. I had so many sides to myself, so many ideas that went on inside my head. I began writing, poetry at first, then working up to stories. And, along the way, I made some pretty awesome friends. I even became a cheerleader my senior year of high school!

As some of you know, from one of my previous posts, I didn’t start a book until I was about 18 and it was dreadful. I still have it and no one will ever see it. So, I locked it away and never thought about it again. Until I deployed. And I told myself I’d either go to school or write a book. I wanted to revisit the idea of creating my own world. I wanted to give life to characters, people, and I wanted to do it while I was here. So I did it. Sometimes, I still feel like that girl. The one who smiled at everyone but didn’t really know where she fit in. Knowing now that I was never meant to is almost like a burden lifting. I was meant to be this person. And I was meant to give you this story. Some of you will see the parallels between my life and Liza’s (hers is a bit more turbulent), so don’t be surprised. Friends of mine will tell you that each character has something of mine or something I can relate to. It’s my connection to them!

For individuals out there who feel like they have no one who really understands them, pick up a good book. And when you’re done with that book, read another. Then read another. After a few hundred, maybe try your hand at writing your own. I encourage you to speak to people and make friends. Be friendly. But, my goodness, there’s nothing like a really good book.

Freshman year of high school!

Freshman year of high school!

Now playing Lindsay Lohan’s A Beautiful Life.

All my love,
Cynth

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